What screams “I’m a tourist!” in your country?

Not my country but I’ve been living here for a while, Colombia:

·         Well one big thing that screams tourist is being 1.86m tall, white, blonde and blue eyed, like me. Took me a while to get, what people mean when they call me “mono”. Learnt it when the young boy from the family I was living with started calling me “tío mono”, and his grandmother laughing her ass of about my confusion being called “uncle monkey”, until she revealed to me that mono also means blonde in Colombia. :)

·         Calling the country Columbia.

·         Men wearing shorts in non coastal cities. It is just not a thing here if you are older than 14.

·         Asking the bus driver or seat neighbor every ten seconds “Are we there yet?” I’m very guilty of that one as well.

·         Walking into a store saying “Soy leche” (I am milk) when trying to buy soy milk.

·         Telling people that you are pregnant when you are embarrassed of something.

·         Claiming that you are poor.

·         “Dar Papaya”, literally translates to giving out papayas. A local saying for people who put themselves into situations where someone can take advantage of them. E.g leaving your shiny new iPhone on a restaurant table unattended or getting robbed while trying to buy drugs in a dark lonely alley.

·         Thinking because you have watched Narcos on Netflix, you are an expert in recent history and politics of the country. It is baffling how many people think the tv series is a historical documentary.

·         Thinking you are going to get robbed and killed as soon as you stroll further than 10m from a place or route mentioned in Lonely Planet/TripAdvisor. To be fair a lot of Colombians think that as well.

·         When in one of the big cities saying things like: Oh, I have to get out of here and to remote region X to see the “real” Colombia. Hmmm, so people born and raised in Bogotá, Medellín, Barranquilla, etc. are not real Colombians? Would you say the same thing about people in New York, Paris, Berlin?

·         Misinterpreting normal human interaction here as signs of attraction. People might touch your arms, knee or shoulder lightly at times during a conversation, you’ll get asked for a dance, you might get hugs out of nowhere if you are closer, or in some regions pretty much every sentence is ended with the equivalent of “my love”, “darling”, etc. (again by woman and men) even if you are just buying bread in a bakery.
That doesn’t necessarily mean they want to sleep with you.

·         Cocaine. I’m not saying it is not consumed by the locals, but there are way too many, especially young back packers, who think it is a must do thing for a Colombia trip being complete. Even more so since the above mentioned Narcos came out. Heard stories about poor innocent teenagers getting caught with drugs claiming corrupt cops put it in their bags? Yeah, not buying it.